Wednesday, January 18, 2012

The Me Factor

Toby Keith said it best in his country song rendition, "Wanna Talk About Me, Wanna Talk about I...," people are so all about themselves these days. Since I have moved to Indiana, yes, the same state that brags about their Midwest values, I have experienced people that I thought were friends, being oh-so-selfish. I can take total responsibility in saying that I chose these people to be friends with. I chose to tell them things that I trusted them with. And no, it is not Indiana's fault, but as I have lived in the East, West, and now Midwest, I can certainly see a huge difference with people and their values simply by what part of the country they reside in. There are certainly all kinds of people all over, I know that. I am just talking about my observations and experiences. And I must say, that I do have some of the most wonderful, trusting friends here. But over and over, I am shocked to see how people act and how downright mean and selfish they can be.

Back to what I am calling the "me factor" and my stories. In several situations, I have found that I have told people some things, and even said, "Please do not share this information with anyone," and low and behold, they do. One time right in front of me. No, I am not kidding. I was standing there, mouth open, as my "friend" was relaying my business to one of my clients. It is like no one here can stand not to tell someone else your business. It is as if because it makes them feel good to tell your secrets, it is OK. Big lesson in trust on my part. I have learned who is a true friend and who just wants to know and share your business.

Ever have someone that you would consider a friend do something that shocks and hurts you? They don't do it directly to you, but instead to someone that you know? That has happened quite a few times since I have lived here. Mainly I have trusted people and they have turned around and disappointed me, broken my trust or acted cruelly towards another person or myself. 

We all have said something or made comments about another, I am sure. Maybe I am too naive, but it brakes my heart that people would do these things. It certainly changed how I felt toward these people. Do I hold it against them? No, but I am a little more guarded around them now? Absolutely. I get that we are all human. I am not perfect. I have broken people's trust, been mean..whatever,,,my point is that we all need to stop and think before we speak and act.

Ellen Degeneres once said something of this nature, "We could all use a few more please and thank yous in our lives." I concur. I wish we could all live a little more from our hearts and a little less from our mean-spirited side. We all, myself included, need to learn and remember that what we give out, we in turn receive. It is like we sometimes forget that we are each humans with families and feelings and our own problems and issues. Living, breathing beings with hearts and brains and FEELINGS.
But as this wonderfully crazy world works, it decided to let me know that all was not lost. Random acts of kindness do still happen. People do act from love.

I was at Costco with my kids, and they got hungry. I had checked out and was going to get them something to eat at the Costco Cafe. I ordered and went to pay and had no cash. I did not realize that you had to pay with cash or check; I only had my debit card. This wonderful lady said, "Here, I'll take care of it." I protested, but she insisted. She said, "Please. It is the least I can do." What a wonderful surprise. And can I say that I was shocked? Seriously. Shocked that someone would help me out and pay for my food when she could have just pointed out the ATM. That is what it is all about people. There is a woman acting out of kindness and love.  

I truly believe that we are all somehow connected. If we could all think of the golden rule, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you," I believe that we might just see a world full of a lot more kindness and a lot less hate.

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