Saturday, January 21, 2012

To Run Is Divine...At Least Most of The Time

I am having one of those days. A day where nothing I put on looks good on me or feels right. Where I am constantly on the verge of tears for no good reason. Where someone else's win makes me mad at myself and annoyed at them and want to punch something. Where all I can seem to focus on is everything that I need to do or "should" do, and not the many things that I have already accomplished or are in the process of getting done. Boo on today.

It is time to shift, and I am wishing I had a treadmill. I know that sounds funny, but all I really want to do right now is run. Run until "it" feels better. Unfortunately, it is currently a balmy 25 degrees here, plus the windchill, which makes it closer to 20....if I am lucky. And after a recent stint with pneumonia, I would be crazy to go run outside.

I have a love/hate relationship with running. A lot of the time, running is one of those things that I have to gear myself up to do.

Force myself, because although I was always known as being fast, I was not an endurance runner. Sprints were my thing. I could rock out a suicide with the best of them.

These days, there is something very cathartic about running to me, yet I seem to forget this until I get out there and do it. I will be honest, sometimes I still hate it. Usually, it is that first run of the season that I despise the most. I've been cooped up doing exercises inside because of the "awesome" midwest winters. That first run of the season is a lung burner.  Makes me feel like I am running through mud and breathing through a straw, with jell-o legs and collapsing lungs. But then, then there are the times that it just feels perfect.

Running perfection, at least for me, goes a little something like this. I love, love, love to run in the evening. There is something about the light and the air that makes me feel like I am gliding. It feels almost effortless. Like I could keep running with no protest from my legs and my lungs. Run like the wind and with the wind. I have my ear buds in, listening to whatever suits me at the time, sometimes it is a book, sometimes it is music. My thoughts tend to meander just like the trail, usually with the trivial problems or going-ons of the day. But somehow, on the 15-, 20-, or 30-minute run, it has allowed and enabled me to figure everything out, or at least feel like I have for the time.

And let's get this straight, I do not jog, I run. There is no lolly gagging. This is not a trip where I would be able to carry on a conversation with a potential partner. No, I run. Run as fast as I can at that very moment, because not only am I healing my mind and my soul, but my body as well. Burn out the toxins. Sweat them out. Run them out.

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