Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Happy Birthday to Me

Happy birthday to me. I turned 37 on Monday, and it was different this year. Everyone always says things like, "Do you feel any different today?" or "What does *enter age here* feel like?" or "One more year closer to 40!" or "Are you OK with it?" Here is my response to all of the above questions.  It feels, I feel great!

I once saw an interview with an older Hollywood actress. (I am sorry that I can not remember who it was. I tried searching some that I thought it was with, with no luck. To make things easier, I am going to name this actress Jane.) Anyway, the basis of this interview was that in life, and even more so in Hollywood, your age is a BIG deal. You are judged on what you can do, how you look, and how you perform. Jane said that she doesn't believe in "age." That when you associate a number or age with someone or something, that it, or we, in turn start thinking that we have to be or act that age. And to take this thought even further, as humans, if we act our age, we are going to start feeling aches and pains, get wrinkles, and live like that age. I love the fact that Jane has actually lost track of her age. She had to really stop and think about it because it truly did not matter to her. She was going to live how she wanted to, even if it was associated with someone much younger than her. That way, when someone asks how it feels to be our age, you can answer you don't know. Instead you can act and start taking on the characteristics of whatever age you want to feel like. I am not saying that I should go out and start acting like I am 21, by getting drunk and dancing on tables. I am saying that I seriously do not feel like what people think 37 should feel like.

What does 37 look and feel like? I think that the perception of the average woman at 37 is that you are a slightly overweight woman who has given up on losing "baby weight." That you could be insecure in your relationship, as it seems that this is the age that many get a divorce. That it may mean that you are either pre-menopausal or on some sort of drug for either lack of sleep, depression, anxiety, or hormones. Or maybe you are having a mid-life crisis of some sort...whatever that means. Anyway, I am here to say that if this were a multiple choice test where you have to check all that apply, I would be checking "none of the above."

I am physically stronger than I have ever been in my life, and I have the muscles to prove it...and they aren't, what we like to call D.M.O.....display model only. I use mine and have a 166 pound overhead squat to back it up. I love my husband and I am still in love with him, because apparently there is a difference. He is my best friend and the person that I choose to spend time with. I am not hormonal. I am on no drugs. I sleep very well. I eat better than most. I work out six times a week. I make sure that I challenge my mind in some way every single day. I am also just as happy sitting by the fire watching a movie with my family, as I am going out with a group of friends.

So, what age do I feel? I don't really know. I know for a fact that I am a better me than I was at 27 and at 17. Maybe I feel 37, but it is my 37.  A 37, where a woman has learned to enjoy life. Take the life crises as they come and not worry so much. Enjoy the times I can dance around the kitchen with my kids. Be proud of my husband and the things that he has accomplished. Laugh with friends at stupid jokes or cry with them during their dark times. That I can be a writer even though I always told myself I wasn't good enough. Smell the salt air at the beach and the horses at the ranch and know and love the uniqueness of each. Tear up at a birthday poem written to me by my son. Just enjoy the gifts that each year brings.

The biggest gift that I received on my birthday this year was a feeling of zen. Zen because I finally, yes finally, love myself for who I am at this very moment. Zen because I realize that everything is a process, a journey. Zen, because for the first time in my entire life, I am so very happy

Saturday, February 25, 2012

An Experience and A Lesson

Last night Jason surprised me and got tickets for us to go to Michael Jackson The Immortal World Tour, performed by Cirque du Soleil. This was a gift for my birthday, and what an amazing gift it was! I am almost another year older and wiser, and I was so pleased that for a gift, I was given an experience. An experience that I will remember the rest of my life.

There were people of every age there, all clapping, singing, dancing in their seats, or standing up jamming to the tunes. There were acrobatic feats. In true Cirque style, there were people suspended, bending so that you couldn't keep track of what were arms and what were legs, fabulous costumes. The music and energy was contagious. Everyone, even the 6"5" bearded man in full overalls couldn't help but smile, clap, and move to the beat. What a legend Michael truly is, no matter what you think about him, it is hard not to enjoy this show.

One of the things that I loved best about the show was the underlying message. The message that Michael struggled with throughout his life and sung about throughout his career. This message is summed up so beautifully and eloquently with this quote:

‎"In a world full of hate, we must dare to hope. In a world full of anger, we must dare to comfort. In a world full with despair, we must still dare to dream, and in a world filled with distrust, we must still dare to believe." ~Michael Jackson

We must learn to love ourselves for who we are. We must learn to love and accept others for who they are. We must follow our passions and dare to dream. We must protect our children and help them to blossom. We must treat our world, our Earth, with the same kindness that we would treat our own home.

Michael was able to create songs that spoke to our hearts, made us dance, but also look at that "man in the mirror" and question how we have been living our own lives. I think that questioning ourselves in a way to help us grow and become a better version of ourselves is what we strive to do on a regular basis.

Thanks Michael for entertaining us, making us laugh and dance, making us question and think about how we are treating ourselves and others and helping us create experiences and memories that will last forever. Thank you...

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Whispers of the Heart

I feel like a big cry baby lately. It seems that everything makes me cry these days. And, I am not talking just about something sad, but anything and everything. I can see a commercial, and it can send me over the edge. Read a passage...done. Experience someone's kindness...waterfall.

I would say that maybe at my age it could be hormones, but I don't think that is totally the case. I think there are a multitude of reasons that all contribute to my waterworks.

First off, stress. We all have our stories and our stressors. In a brief synopsis, mine are as follows. My mom has Alzheimer's. My son is struggling in school. I am having a hard time simply keeping up with some basic everyday life stuff. My husband is working a ton. I am having a bit of worthiness/what I am doing with my life struggles.

Let me start by saying that I am not complaining about my life and struggles, not at all. I wouldn't trade my life with anyone else's and that's a good thing. This is the life I've chosen and there is only one me.

Now, despite the stressors and despite my own issues, as I have gotten older and a bit wiser I learned some things. I have learned that worrying doesn't solve anything. I used to be known as a worrier, full of anxiety. I had panic attacks starting in my junior year of high school. Not only was I struggling with being a teenager and being unsure of myself, my friends, and where I fit in, but it was time to start SATs and thinking about college. That about put me over the edge. Not feeling like I was smart enough after following in the footsteps of a genius sister was tough. The added pressure of taking a major test, for me who later found out that she had a learning disability and test anxiety, was almost more than I could bear.

Later in life I had other stressors, you know, job, finances, and marriage. I let these basic life stressors take over, so that I would worry about everything and I mean everything. I would worry that if I drove too fast that I would get pulled over, get a ticket, and go to jail. Sounds crazy, right?  Well, that is how my brain started working. I was worried every single moment of my life. Worried about what I was doing, what people were thinking, what was going to happen, did I say the right thing, is someone mad at me, am I living up to my potential, if I do something wrong will my husband leave me.... everything.

Crazy? Here is crazy. It got so bad that while I was sleeping, I started having stress induced hallucinations. I once called Jason into our room because I thought that there was a snake in there. That was the last straw. Off to a counselor.

I didn't take long for her to help me start to sort things out and calm myself down. Never did it with drugs. I personally do everything that I can, not to put any sort of drugs into my body. It is always a last resort. The counseling was working, and I was feeling better. I also took a seminar that helped me to accept myself and become a better me. I know now that life is a continual journey, and that there will always be trials that pop back up that one has to deal with. I can choose how I deal with those trials.

Whew...OK, now to the present day and all my crying. I can, at times, feel the emotion creep in and try to take over. It is like that dern snake that I "saw" in my room. It can be sneaky and slither its way in, just sitting there waiting or it can just strike suddenly and hit me with its venom.

My husband, my kids, TV shows, blog posts, quotes, commercials, my mom, a workout, being sick, not getting my list done, seeing something beautiful, witnessing true kindness, hearing horrible stories, or simply nothing makes me well up with tears. The snake slithers, it strikes. I could over analyze it. I could question my sanity. Honestly, what I truly believe it is, is authenticity. I am truly feeling what I feel at any given moment. I am learning to take each moment for what it is.  Focusing on life as it is happening. These tears are tears of sadness, joy, frustration, confusion, anger and happiness.

So as I sit here with tears beginning to roll down my cheeks, I am thankful for them. Thankful that I have these moments, this moment. This moment of honesty and fear. Of nervousness about what I have written. But most of all for listening to the whispers of my heart.

Sources for pictures:

Monday, February 20, 2012

By The Way...

Just thought that I should mention that I may shake things up around least in the design department. This layout is so very not awesome. Watch out for pure blog design awesomeness...or something like that.

Take Back That Wrench...We Don't Want It

I am back at it. Back on my schedule. Back on MY least for the most part. Somehow life always throws a wrench in there to test you.

The past two weeks have been challenging ones for me and my family on many levels. As an earlier post describes, we are having some issues figuring out the best way that my son learns. This has been a long process, in fact too long for any of our likings. It all came to head, again this year, about two weeks ago. After numerous meetings, many talks and crying sessions from both myself and my son, we are once again headed in what we think is the right direction. There will be more tests, more meetings, and a lot of thinking outside of the box. There will also be a lot of me standing my ground on what I think should be done, since the school hasn't been able to pinpoint it for three years.

On to last week... My sister and my niece came to town. My sister, Morgan, and I are longing for the day when our visits no longer revolve around our mother. We love her to pieces, but she has Alzheimer's disease. With Morgan living in North Carolina and I here in Indiana, the visits here tend to be all about our Mom. We have been juggling numerous visits to try and spend some quality time with our Mom and meetings with the health care facility mapping out a plan for her future. Follow that up by a lot of nightly wine drinking to calm the nerves and dull the pain, at least for the moment. Throw in a couple of inevitable cries, taking care of the kids, and maybe some shopping, and that is one long, exhausting week. So exhausting, in fact, that when my husband and I went out for a "hot" Valentine's date, I fell asleep at a movie. And I am not talking about a lovie-dovie chic flick. This was Safe House with Denzel Washington and Ryan Reynolds. Pure action movie and I could not keep my eyes open. And it most definitely starred Ryan Reynolds....And on a side note, ladies, he does take his shirt off, though no outstandingly awesome gratuitous shot like in The Proposal.

Then, in between all of the above, my husband just moved his office across town. He has not been very available right now, and it is totally understood. Although it is temporary, it takes a toll on us all. We were at his office all weekend getting numerous things squared away. One thing being my gym. I have a CrossFit gym in the back of his warehouse. Mainly I and another fellow Crossfitter work out there, but I also train others. Poor Jason, my husband, spent all day helping me get my gym set up, yet his own office is full of tools and papers stacked feet high. He is a giver. Always thinking of others first.

Oh, and I forgot to mention that on Friday we were informed that we had been exposed to tuberculosis, yes, tuberculosis, I kid you not. Off to the doctor to get tests and somewhat quarantine ourselves. Just another wrench in the old schedule called life. In case you were worried, we are fine.

Anyway, between everything going on, people visiting, drinking and eating crazy stuff that I don't usually, I was totally out of synch. Today was glorious, absolutely glorious. No school because of President's Day, so there was no rushing to get ready in the morning. I had a client at 10 AM, which I LOVED. I love to teach, and I love CrossFit, so it is a perfect match for me. I actually got to work out.  I got to do it in my newly set up gym (thank you again, Jason), without rushing to pick up the kids or get to a meeting. Joe, the fellow CrossFitter, came in and worked out at the same time, so I had some company, which was also a wonderful change as I usually have to work out alone. Also, I am back to eating what I usually eat, which just so happens to be Paleo. Real food tastes so much better, in my opinion. And, the sun is shining! Everyone is relaxed and there is no real pressure of anything today. Just a much needed change of scenery. And gosh darn it, it works!

Watch out, I am throwing that wrench back. We are all good here.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Take It Or Leave It

It is funny how quickly I can forget and then be reminded a very basic lesson:

Yes, what you put out there is inevitably what you get back. Just think about it. I will use a scenario with children as an example. You are feeling frustrated and tired and are kind of snapping at every one and about everything. What do you usually get back from your child, the same thing.  They are snapping back at you and are upset because they think you are upset at them.  

We seem to take everything very personal.  If we are confronted with someone that is rude to us and makes a mean remark, isn't there something in the back of your head that thinks, "What did I do?" or  that something is wrong on our part.  Most of the time, it is simply something that is going awry with that person.  Think about it, we have a choice in how we react to every single situation.  I used to have a pink streak in the front of my hair at the age of 34.  People would say, "Why did you do that?" and the tone was definitely one of judgement.  I simply smiled back and stated, "Why not?  I wanted to try it out. I like it for now...AND it's just hair."  See, I could have taken those comments personally and thought, "Maybe I shouldn't have done that" or "What are people thinking of me?"  Truth be known, who cares!  I liked it and that was all that matters.

We have these concepts in our minds of what people "should" be like, "should" wear, "should" believe. I think most of it bunk. Things are said to not be appropriate depending on one's age or life style. I know that there have to be some rules and standards for dress at jobs, schools etc, but outside of that, let people live there lives.  

People want to instill their beliefs in everything on you. You are this age so you should be wearing this.   Or, you don't go to church, believe in this or believe in that?! You don't feed your children Lunchables for lunch? Here is what I say to, no and no. You can like it or not. You can like me or not.  I don't care.  If you are truly my friend, you like me for me.  You like the kind of person I am, not the person that others and the media and society expect me to be. 

I admit it, I am flawed, as we all are.  I put pink streaks in my hair sometimes. I say and do dumb things. I don't go to church anymore. I cry when I get mad, even at times people would consider "inappropriate." I am also a loyal friend. I am incredibly strong. I do my best to take care of my mother who has Alzheimer's.  I love my family more than anything else. And I think I am a pretty fun person to hang out with.  

So that is what I am giving out a pink streaked, sometimes fumbling, yet strong woman who loves people and loves to have fun.  Take it or leave it.

Source- album cover

Friday, February 17, 2012

Who Am I?

I know it has been a while since my last post, I apologize, but my sister was in town and we had some family things to take care of. Family always comes first.

Also, I have been trying to write this blog somewhat anonymously, but you may see some of my identity creep in. It is really hard for me to truly write in my voice when I am hiding part of who I am.  

And darn it if that blog title hasn't started to stir some ideas up...

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Hear Me Roar

It has been an overly emotional day. Not because someone died or because my hormones are out of whack, but because I want to help my son succeed in school. And let me begin by saying that this has nothing to do with him not trying, acting out, or my expectations that he go to Harvard. This has to do with the simple fact that no one, not his parents, not his teachers, not his school system, can figure out how to best teach my child, or the best way that he learns.

I am sitting here after a full day of crying--there it goes again--because I feel like he has been failed.

We are very fortunate that he attends one of the best schools in the state. But no rankings or ratings matter when you are the parent of a student who is not succeeding in school the way he should. In both first and second grade, his teachers recognized something special about him. Something we, his parents, had always seen, and even discussed with them.

He is a very smart child. He is mature, sociable, and inquisitive. He can have detailed, sophisticated conversations with adults. Sounds like a dream come true, right? But there is something else. Something that everyone is missing, and I don't know what it is called. In fact, no one does.

He is way below his grade level in reading. He skips words, transposes words, or substitutes incorrect words while reading. His spelling is atrocious. He has trouble with phonics. Directions are a major struggle for him to follow. You have to explain things many times before he understands, if ever he really does. None of these things are normal, but here is the real problem.

For two years the school tested him for a learning disability. Very extensive tests, I might add. They all came back to tell us that he waivers just at or below national guidelines. They reassured us that because he is in such a superior school district, he will always have "intervention," or extra guidance related to his needs. Last year this "intervention" was sticking him on a computer to work on reading skills. Think about the educational challenges he has been facing that I described above, and imagine a computer being able to work with him on them. Not ideal.

It wasn't until he and I both complained, again and again, that the school matched him with a person to work one-on-one with him. Finally, I thought, we are going to get somewhere. This year, he again has reading intervention with a real, live, trained person. She does what she is supposed to. I admit, he has improved somewhat, but not nearly enough.

When I say "not enough," please know that I am not a parent that expects him to be some sort of genius. I really don't. Both his dad and I had learning problems in school. We know the frustration that he is feeling. I simply want to know the things that we ALL can do to help him, to empower him, to encourage him to learn and succeed to his best abilities.

I know that not everyone learns the same way. My son does not fit into the school system's box, therefore, they don't know what to do with him. Until now, they have shuffled him around from one thing to next, never really hitting on the right solution.

Now they are worried simply because there is a new, required standardized test. This new test, the IRead, is going to test him on his reading, writing, and comprehension skills that he has mastered up to third grade. His teacher doesn't think he can pass the test; his reading specialist thinks he might "pull it off." Pull it off? That's what they expect from my son?

I am at my wit's end. My poor son wavers just above or below the national average, yet way below the school's standards. You know where this puts him? Up s!#t's creek, that's where. In a place where no one knows what to do. He doesn't qualify for an Individualized Education Program (IEP), which would require the school, by law, to make sure that he gets the resources he needs to succeed. There would be particular goals set in place that they would be required to reach as his teachers. "He is not as bad as some of the kids" is a phrase I have heard way too many times. Just because he isn't the worst means he isn't worth it?

Last year, while in the committee test result meeting, I said that I didn't want to be having this same conversation again. We had done this testing/meeting/nothing game for two years. we are again.

I got a call from his teacher last night about how she was worried he wouldn't be able to pass these new tests. My husband and I are meeting with her tomorrow morning about her take on all of this. I also went into the guidance counselor's office today to talk with her. The same test committee has been contacted to "figure out what we can do, and quickly, since this test is in March." Is it all about this test? Because I feel like this should be about my son, and that it should not take three years to figure this out.

I have always been and will always be an advocate for my son. And I am not sorry that I told the counselor today, "You tout yourselves as having one of the best schools in the state. Well, I am here to tell you that you have failed my child. You have failed for three years." With her mouth open, she nodded and said, "We have to figure this out."

Today I have been on the phone talking with people and on the computer researching everything, anything that I can do to help. How do I help my child when the educational system can't figure out what to do? I don't have an answer yet, but I plan to go in fully loaded.

I have not sat back and expected the school to take full responsibility. As a parent, I have worked day in and day out with my son. I have put my time and research into learning more about my son and what we can do for him, and in having him tested more than once.

This Momma bear is protecting her cub. I have been calm and cordial, but no more. If I have to meet with every single person in that school, I will. They will know who I am and what I expect. Hear me roar.

"If a seed of a lettuce will not grow, we do not blame the lettuce. Instead, the fault lies with us for not having nourished the seed properly." - Buddhist proverb

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Party Rock Is In The House Tonight....

Wow...what an absolutely amazing night I had last night!  How am I awake and functioning with two and a half hours of sleep?  I have to say it was one of the best times I have had in a very long time. I was fortunate enough to be able to attend the Rolling Stone Bacardi Bash Superbowl Party (long name for a party).

This event was done so very well. Being that I am a commoner, my husband and I entered in the General Admission door. They had Bacardi ladies staffed to stand there and take your picture as you walk on "your" red carpet. Made you feel kind of special. Then you entered into a fake airplane where you were introduced to different past decades. You see, Bacardi was celebrating their birthday. They are 150 years young! Happy birthday, Bacardi!

The next room was full of electric energy. In one section, there were autographed guitars displayed, and you could bid on them for a silent auction. These were from big stars like Madonna, the Beatles, The Boss, Van Halen, and Pink Floyd, just to name a few. There were cabaret type girls swinging on swings. There were poker tables where you can play to "win" a t-shirt (they give one to everyone). There was a small stage where professionals were dancing. There was a place where you could do a simulated spray paint on a screen, and then they emailed your picture to you. And because it was a Bacardi Party, there were multiple bars and free drinks.

Now to the entertainment...four bands and they played in this order:

Cobra Starship...You can see that I am pretty close, but still have probably six rows in front of me.

Gym Class Heroes... I got a lot closer. A friend said that it was like I was playing Tetris. I would find a small hole and fit myself into it. About Row 3 at this point. I literally could have reached out and touched him at times....but I didn't.

Next, Lupe Fiasco...pretty much front row.

And last, but certainly not least...LMFAO. Man, do those guys put on a show! Blow up zebras, dolphins, and balls thrown in to the crowd. Large glowing foam sticks tossed out, which I caught. They were drinking screwdrivers out of beer bongs. They were spraying the audience with champagne. And the dancing and costume changes were absolutely unreal. Here are a couple of photos from being in the front row.

I will tell you that, yes, there were a lot of celebrities at this event sitting, dancing, drinking, and schmoozing in their VIP areas. I will be honest, I could have cared less. I was having such an amazing time laughing and hanging with my husband and friends, tetrising my way to the front row and then singing and dancing my ass off, that I hardly glanced their way. And if you read my past blog post, you will know that I don't much care. And to those that think that I was wobbling and could barely stand because of all the Bacardi, you'd be wrong. I was the D.D. It was the hours of dancing, and then later, teetering in my heels.

Saturday, February 4, 2012

It Ain't Pretty When it Comes to Celebrities

Now onto another subject that has to do with the Superbowl, sort of. Because we have the Superbowl here, there are celebrities around....everywhere.

I have heard sighting after sighting. Rumor after rumor. I know where they are staying, what house they are renting. Over it.

We have many celebrities staying, shopping, and eating here in our quaint little town. I am sure they are here hoping to get away from a lot of the stalking that they usually get. Hopefully, it hasn't been as bad as it sounds. I also understand that because we, the non-celebrities, are inundated with these people's faces and songs and movies, that it is so very exciting that they are shopping at the same grocery store as you.

Alright here goes, guess what people, you pure commoners, they are people, too. Look, I know that someone is thinking, "Hey, they are celebrities. They have to know people will want to see them, badger them, want pictures with them, stalk them." I am here to somewhat stand on my soapbox and be a voice of reason.

Could you imagine that if every time you went to the grocery store to pick up tampons or even eggs that some one was either going to follow you or take your picture? I know what I look like a lot of the time and certainly would not want that. And who cares what kind of toothpaste they are using? Let them shop, people. Let them have dinner without being interrupted a dozen times. Stop stalking the exotic cars that happened to be parked in town.

Oh, I forgot, but it's you. Once Ryan Gosling sees you, he will surely want to flash his abs at you and then pull you behind a bush and make out with you. And Will Smith? He is going to stop and get jiggy with it right there in Marsh Supermarket. Will Ferrell will streak your neighborhood, and Adam Sandler will put you in his next movie.

Let's remember something here, they are people, just like you. They have feelings. They have families. They have problems. They are human beings. Treat them with some respect. Give them a wave. Tell them, "Thanks for choosing our town to stay in," then turn around and head right to the Depends aisle, since you just peed yourself from excitement, but just leave them alone.

It Has Been SUPER Here!

I had been working on another post, but after two days, I still couldn't quite get it right. Opted to move on to another...this one.

There is a lot going on here and has been the past two weeks. Let's just say that there is this little thing called the SUPERBOWL in town! First, I am going to just come out and say this right now...I have a love/hate relationship with Indiana. To all you lifelong Hoosiers, I am sorry, but to me, there is not much that is sexy about Indiana. I am a transplant, so I could care less about IU or Purdue; the terrain is, for the most part, pretty bland; and the winters are usually gray and miserable. BUT, but, but but! I have very much enjoyed living here the past couple of weeks. I have been proud to live here.  I have been excited to live here.

First off, the weather. The weather has been beautiful. We have had weather in the high 50's. Lots of days full of sunshine. I have gotten to go outside and run, headed to the park to do some workouts, and worn fewer layers than usual. And I will say it again, there was sun. Sun is sparse in these parts around this time. I can even bear that it is rainy and cold today, because it has been so beautiful.

Now, I have to admit that people are right about what has happened this past year. The people of Indiana have joined together. Indianapolis has done a phenomenal job to get this place ready for the Superbowl. People have been volunteering, knitting scarfs for said volunteers, and pretty much done whatever they could to help get this place in tip top shape for the big event. Every single volunteer that I have run into, asked a question of, or have seen talking with others was pleasant, laughing, helpful, and really happy to be be a part of this awesome event. There have been a couple of sour pusses complaining about how much they have had to work during the Superbowl, but we can just ignore that 1%.

The energy around town has been positive and electric! People are excited, having fun, and enjoying themselves. I am not promising that this statistic is exact, but from what I have heard, this year's NFL Experience and Superbowl events have had a record turnout...and that was as of last week, before most out-of-towners even got here. Now that is a city full of people that are proud of what they have done and are truly enjoying what the city and event has to offer!

I live in a small town just outside of Indianapolis, and this town has also been preparing for the past year. We attended a fundraiser last year, raising money to put on special activities in our town to draw people here during the Superbowl. I have to admit that last year, I wasn't sure about it all, but now I totally get it. We have had National Sports Art in our galleries and at other merchants, a temporary ice rink, toboggan run, concessions, pop up chefs, cupcake decorating for the kids, concerts and free buses that will shuttle you back and forth to Downtown Indy. We, as a family, have taken advantage of a ton of these activities. Once again, people have been helpful, pleasant and super excited. I have truly loved Indiana these past couple of weeks.

Way to go Indiana! You've made me love like least for now.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Sometimes You Just Gotta Say Something....

OK, this is going to be a bit of a rant, but I will make it quick. Just have to get it off my chest and outta my head.

Do you have people in your life that just drive you crazy? I know that we all do. There are some individuals that are just getting under my skin lately. Well, thanks to Facebook, I can see what these people are up to. I had these people hidden at one time, then I thought that I would give them a chance and unhide them. Back to the black hole of being hidden for them!

Now let me explain why these people got hidden. To make things simpler, lets give these three people fake identities...1. Sam  2. Tina 3. Bob

OK, on to my annoyances.

Sarah, oh Sarah. He is one of those people that is all about himself and getting noticed. He is a fellow CrossFitter. I get that people really get into it and want to shout to the world about every single thing that they do. I was once that "excited," and maybe I did the same thing. I am still really into it, but this guy is just over the top. Every time that he even thinks about something CrossFit, it has to be said. Usually, about how awesome he is or something incredible he did. It is one thing to be confident, it is another thing to be egotistical. Judging form his other posts, he is pretty much all about himself or complaining about other things. I can't hit the "unsubscribe" button fast enough. Get over yourself, Sam. It is great that you are healthy, but I don't want pictures of every time you shred your hands from soooooooo many pull ups.

Tina, you're next. You have such a negative energy. Everything is stressful. Your kids are always sick. You don't have enough time. Someone pissed you off. Lame. Slow down and get a little happy in your life. Get off the train that takes you to Dumpsville, and hop onto the Awesomeness train.

And Bob, you are just a poser. Sorry to get all 1985 on you, but it is true. You came to CrossFit for a couple weeks, and then decided that you wanted to be a trainer and left. You stole the name from my class to use for your bootcamp and try to tell everyone about health and fitness, like you are a pro. Not sure if you can do a sit-up on your own yet, but have at it. Maybe this is more of an annoyance rant because you act like you are knowledgable, and these poor people are believing you.  I have seen the advice that you are passing out...give it back people!

Ok, I am done. I feel better now. Trust me, I don't claim to be perfect, I certainly am not. We all have people that get to us from time to time. I know this won't be the last time. I just had to write it out, so I don't waste anymore energy on it.... I have already wasted enough.  

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

My Son, The Grinch

I know that I am most definitely a bit biased, but I happen to think that my son is one of the sweetest people out there.  I am not just talking kids, I am talking people.

This guy is what some may call an old soul. From the beginning, he has always been the most pleasant child to be around. He is very calm and contemplative. Sometimes, in fact, it is hard to read whether he is in deep thought or something is troubling him. I am sure it could be both. Most other times though, he wears his heart on his sleeve. You know exactly how he is feeling, and most of the time he will tell you why.

I can recall many times when I was struggling with something in my life, and it was he that gave me wise words to live by. Here is an example. My mother has Alzheimer's Disease. My kids have known her in every stage so far. After a visit from my sister, where we had to do a lot of figuring out what to do next with our mom, I was very upset. I was tired and emotional, yet trying to be rational. We were driving in the car, I and my two children. I said to them, "You know, there may come a time, very soon in fact, that Grandma doesn't know who you are. Remember her brain is not working quite right any more." My son simply stopped what he was doing,  looked up and said, "I know, Mom, but we just have to enjoy each and every day that we have with her." That was it. His little head went right back down to what he was doing. And to think, I wasn't even sure they were listening. Even typing that sentiment brings me to tears. He was maybe seven at the time, yet he gets it. Always has.

When he was two, I was pregnant with his sister and feeling very sick. I was laying on the floor of his room, while he played. I thought that if I was in front of the door, in case I dozed off, I would feel him if he tried to climb over me. He simply started to bring me a large stuffed animal to use as a pillow and covered me with a blanket. These are some of the many instances where there was a situation that I was struggling with and he stayed calm and knew exactly what was needed. Wise words, a hug, a blanket, a laugh, whatever it is, he knows.

This kid is unbelievably kind. He is constantly wanting to hug you, snuggle with you, or make you laugh. He just wants some special time to simply be with you. I sometimes worry, though, that in a world so based on competition and getting ahead, that he will simply be left behind. He wants things fair for everyone. He is OK with letting someone else have the ball in a game because, "everyone should have a chance." I have rarely, if ever, seen him be judgmental of someone else, and certainly  he calls anyone else out on it if they are being so.

But I have started to come to terms with this, because he is who he is. I wouldn't want him any other way. My boy, with the heart of gold and like the Grinch, yes the Grinch, I believe his heart to be three times a normal heart's size.