This girl is going to need a vacation. I will need sand and sea. I will need sun and drinks. Not sure when and if that will happen, but it sure would be a great way to decompress. This next week, I will have plenty of the salt water tears...
This move is going to happen next week. She does not know about the move yet. You see, because of her condition and memory, we have to wait to tell her. Many times, we have to treat her much like you would a child. Only give her information that is need and keep it simple. The move will happen on Friday, and she will be told Thursday.
My sister and I have done a really great job during this whole "crisis" with our mom. As I am here in Indiana, I have done a lot of the daily grind type of work. She sees myself and my family on a regular basis. I do her shopping, if she needs it, take her to appointments, etc. My sister, Morgan, has been on the other end. Since Morgan lives out of town, she has done paperwork, finances, phone calls, packages, and visited whenever possible. It is a hard balance. One that brings feelings of heartache and guilt, no matter what end you are on. But, we have been quite the team. Things have worked as smoothly as they possible could throughout the years.
This next week, my sister is not able to come out to break the news with me to my Mom. I know that she is feeling really bad about this, but I really think that it is the best way for all of us involved. My Mom would be so confused why my sister was here for just a day, and honestly, she gets really confused when we are both around. It is like she has double vision when we are both around. She can't figure out who is who or remember our names. So...I am going to take one for the team.
Next Thursday, my husband, Jason, and I will break the news to her. I think my biggest fear is how she will react. We really have no idea what she understands anymore. Each day, each visit brings a new "Mom". I am not sure exactly how she will take it or if she will understand the reasoning behind the move. I do know that she won't like it. It will be a big change. Honestly, anytime there is change with an Alzheimer's patient, it can be tough. Not "might" be tough, but will. I will have to take on my caretaker role when I tell her. Jason will really be there, more for me than anything else. I just need him right AFTER I tell her. I need his support the second that I leave the place. That is when I start to shut down. That is when the caretaker turns off and the daughter that has lost her mom to a disease turns on.
Although it will be hard, we all know that it is what has to be done. It is what is best. She needs more care, more than they can give her in assisted living. We knew that this would come eventually and here it is. It is part of the process and the journey. I have to trust in the knowledge that Morgan and I always have and always will do what is best for our mother. And like the post-it note that my mom used to have on her bathroom mirror, written out in her handwriting that has almost been forgotten, "And all will be well..."